when pregnancy dreams attack....

I am so glad that dh is back from his weekend trip to the rained out Coca-Cola 600. With his return came relief from this horrible reoccurring nightmare I had all weekend!!!! In this dream, I walked into my dr's office for my next appt (6/2) and begged for an ultrasound to take a peak at the bean and the dr looks at me and looks at the ultrasound and tells me that not only did the baby quit growing but that it has shrunk down to the size of a this thing (it's a random small circle with a +) inside of it. And in my dream I start freaking out about having another miscarriage and having to try for another baby and all of the emotions in my dream completely flood my self conscious. Both nights I woke up sweating and panting and absolutely freaked out. I literally had to get a grip and tell myself that it was okay but it was literally all too real and very scary. It reminded me a lot of the dream i had in January before I had my ultrasound where I took a pregnancy test and instead of a + or a - it was a square and in my dream I knew that the test meant that I was pregnant but that I would not give birth to that child.

I've talked to a few other girls on my ddc who have had loses in the past and they all have similar dreams of either losing their babies or waking up with their sheets covered in blood so I know that I'm not going crazy. That being said, i'm going to be adament about seeing my lo at my appt on 6/2. It's just the intake with the nurse practioner but the receptionist said that depending on the circumstances they sometimes did the small portable u/s. So I'm going to tell the nurse about my m/c and about how since I had the provera induced period in March, the RE couldn't really date my pregnancy- in all honesty I hope she will do it just for dating purposes, because they do the big unveil at 20 weeks and there is no way they can do it if they don't know when my 20th week is, right??? Keep your fingers crossed, because pissing off an nervous, pregnant attorney probably isn't good and me making the intake nurse at the only HMO covered prenatal care place in my area is not a good thing. So let's hope the angels smile on me and she gives in willingly- primarily so i don't have to rip the machine out of her sweaty little palm.

I also like to submit an addition to the peanut gallery of things that you do NOT do when you are pregnant (remember that #1 is never take your prenatal vitamin with orange juice before you go to bed= a game of russian roulette with a toilet that you will not win and #2 do not go to watch Marley and Me in the theaters). Our newest addition of things that you do not do when you are pregnant is- DO NOT WATCH THE EUKENBA DOG SHOW!!!! Between the ugly dogs that don't win and the state farm/ sarah mclaughlin/ tide commercials in between = one crying idiot pregnany woman who laughs so hard at the fact that she is crying for the ugly dogs that she almost throws up.

That was my memorial day weekend. sad, isn't it? At first I felt bad because dh didn't get to stay for his race on monday after it got rained out on sunday, but dh only really goes to hang out with the guys and isn't really a nascar fan, so he had a great time. btw- driving 6 drunk men 8 hours to watch a bunch of cars go around in a circle- not my idea of a good time.