Reflections on 27...

On this, the eve of my 28th birthday, I've decided to spend my last hour of my 27th year to wish it a good friggin riddance. I've had "bad" years before. The loss of my first love at 20 may have been "heartbreaking" (as only college puppy love can be) and the death of my grandfather at 21 was rough, but good God- 27. A year ago tonight I laid in my bed daydreaming of how difference my life would be by the time I was 28- I would be an attorney with my big job and I'd be a mom or at least well into my pregnancy of becoming one. Well guess what! If I learned anything in my 27th year of being it was that there comes a point when apparently it is no longer safe to dream, when reality itself sucks you in and your realize that life isn't a fairy tale. So here I am, 2 bar exams failed and facing another and fearing another year of infertility and wishing that I could dream of what my life should be like by this time next year...a job, a baby, a house and knowing that it could quite possibly not be any better then it is now and resolving myself to accept that this is the best it could get. I can't do it. I'm not ready for it but dare I once again lay here and dream?