stuck in the middle with you...

first of all i love you all and if you're having a rough ttc week- you probably need to skip my pregnancy rant...

sometimes it's hard to remember the months of negative home pregnancy tests and temping and checking my cervical position and i forget to remind myself how undeniably lucky i am to have a baby on the way. i've been giving myself a hard time today for three reasons- 1) EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE on my ddc is having a boy, 2) i've had too much sugar today and 3) I can't find a single person anywhere that likes the name that dh has picked for his half of the hypothetical girl's name and i don't know how i feel about it. these are all very petty, very whiney things and i know it. first of all, as i have said numerous times, i really think i'm having a girl. that's what i tell people when they ask me that's what i dream about all the time and up until this last round of ultrasounds i was perfectly fine with having a little girl. before i got pregnant the first time i wanted a boy so bad i could taste it- the "family name" business is very popular with dh's family- even though it's the 12th most common last name in the US all i have heard is "boys"...I'm sorry old biddy aunts of dh's - dh has a brother and a sister...dh's dad had one brother and 5-count them 5 sisters- the odds of us having a boy is slim they need to accept that and back off. all of our friends have boys- and give me that "less than acceptable" look if i talk about little girl stuff. I'm sorry guys- not every baby can be male! so the plethora of boys parading around my ddc is really bothering me- there's like maybe 2 girls on there now that are having girls other than that it's a total sausage fest and i'm feeling a little left out. DH and I had planned to combat our familial disappointment by either not finding out what we were having or not telling. neither of us a personally disappointed about having a little girl we're just glad to be pregnant! that being said, i don't know why it seems like people in our society are less than excited for you when you have a girl. I think the core of the issue is that i'm having trouble attaching to my baby. i love being able to feel it wiggle and move but december seems like forever away and my friends are taking one of two approaches- they are either not talking about it at all or it's all they talk about. so either it doesn't exist or i don't.

second- i've had a lot of sugar today and thus feel like crap which is probably why i'm whining.

third- i do not like the name my dh picked out as his "half" of the name for our daughter. he won't budge. i told him it can go on the birth certificate but i'm NOT calling her that. He wants to name her Glenda after his aunt that passed away from cancer after we got married. I just don't want her to grow up being Glenda the good witch... and i can't find anyone who likes it. though i don't tend to regard other people's opinions in anything i do if i could find one other person who genuinely thought that it wasn't literally the worse name in the book and that my daughter would damn me for hell fire and all eternity for naming her that i would feel a little better. It has met a ton of opposition on my ddc and the name room and with my irl friends and family so i just quit talking about it. what do you do when one parent is so insistent about a name? shouldn't dh get some say in our daughter's name?

sorry to rant- i'm done. my apologies. i understand that these are not real issues and that they are in fact probably the three pettiest things I could blog about, but if i don't talk to you guys there's really no one left.